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Are my parents right?


Are my parents right?
Name: Ashley
Add a little more detail (optional): Hello,
It would take pages and pages to give exact detail of my situation. The short version is: I met a guy online and my dad flipped out. They didnt want to talk to him or meet him. They told me I couldn't talk to him anymore and I tried to stay away from him to honor my parents like the Bible days children are to do. But my parents never treated me better after I stopped talking to him. So when I got home after graduating from a Christian college I told my parents I wanted to see him again. That I loved him. They thought I was betraying them because they do not want to give me their blessing because they do not approve. They judge him based on his past, which I hae to admit is complicated but doesn't God forgive? Isn't that what we are to do? To forgive? My parents refused to. They made me choose him or them and I moved out. They still won't talk to me after almost 9 months. I'm very sad in how they are treating me... I know this isn't much detail. But is there any advice out there for me? My parents say they got biblical council and that I was wrong.


5 Comments

Parents have lived a lot longer than you have and have an insight that you do not possess right now. They probably are right and I would listen to them very carefully. If this guy has changed, let him demonstrating it by joining a good church, working and proving that God has changed his life for the better. You have all your life to make the right decision but you could spend all your life regretting the wrong decision.You would be very wise to proceed with caution and the sound council of godly people.

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ASongOfDegrees
Mar 09 2013 06:10 PM

My mother once said she married a certain man because her parents did not like him. She regretted it her whole life.

 

I would listen to what they say. Most likely they can see something you can't see or you refuse to acknowledge. Whatever you do don't run into anything.

While it's entirely possible your parents may be somewhat obtuse on the issue, I must agree with trailofblood above.  Better to let this guy show himself to be truly changed and on the right path than to make pay for a bad decision the rest of your life.  Remember that among the 10 things God felt the need to include in His first commandments, adultery made the list.  If you read Jesus' commentary on divorce (Matthew 19) you will come to understand that God hates divorce.  He says that divorce for any reason other than adultery is adultery in itself.  I point this out only to say that whoever you choose is who you have chosen for life and God expects you to be with him for life regardless of how he acts or how he treats you.  Additionally, his spiritual state will have an enormous impact on you and the family you have together but will be no excuse for your own behavior and relationship with the Lord.  Your parents may arbitrarily dislike him, but they may also see something in him that you don't.  I say all of this to say, choose carefully and ensure you marry a godly man, for you only get one chance to choose.

Ephesians 6:1-3  Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.  Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)  That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
 
Honoring your father and mother is being respectful in word and action and having an inward attitude of esteem for their position. The Greek word for honor means “to revere, prize, and value.” Honor is giving respect not only for merit but also for rank. For example, some Americans may disagree with the President’s decisions, but they should still respect his position as leader of their country. Similarly, children of all ages should honor their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents “deserve” honor.
 
God exhorts us to honor father and mother. He values honoring parents enough to include it in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) and again in the New Testament: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3). Honoring parents is the only command in Scripture that promises long life as a reward. Those who honor their parents are blessed (Jeremiah 35:18-19). In contrast, those with a “depraved mind” and those who exhibit ungodliness in the last days are characterized by disobedience to parents (Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2).
 
Solomon, the wisest man, urged children to respect their parents (Proverbs 1:8; 13:1; 30:17). Although we may no longer be directly under their authority, we cannot outgrow God’s command to honor our parents. Even Jesus, God the Son, submitted Himself to both His earthly parents (Luke 2:51) and His heavenly Father (Matthew 26:39). Following Christ’s example, we should treat our parents the way we would reverentially approach our heavenly Father (Hebrews 12:9; Malachi 1:6).
 
Obviously, we are commanded to honor our parents, but how? Honor them with both actions and attitudes (Mark 7:6). Honor their unspoken as well as spoken wishes. “A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke” (Proverbs 13:1). In Matthew 15:3-9, Jesus reminded the Pharisees of the command of God to honor their father and mother. They were obeying the letter of the law, but they had added their own traditions that essentially overruled it. While they honored their parents in word, their actions proved their real motive. Honor is more than lip service. The word “honor” in this passage is a verb and, as such, demands a right action.
 
We should seek to honor our parents in much the same way that we strive to bring glory to God—in our thoughts, words, and actions. For a young child, obeying parents goes hand in hand with honoring them. That includes listening, heeding, and submitting to their authority. After children mature, the obedience that they learned as children will serve them well in honoring other authorities such as government, police, and employers.
 
While we are required to honor parents, that doesn’t include imitating ungodly ones (Ezekiel 20:18-19). If a parent ever instructs a child to do something that clearly contradicts God’s commands, that child must obey God rather than his/her parents (Acts 5:29).
 
Honor begets honor. God will not honor those who will not obey His command to honor their parents. If we desire to please God and be blessed, we should honor our parents. Honoring is not easy, is not always fun, and certainly is not possible in our own strength. But honor is a certain path to our purpose in life—glorifying God. Colossians 3:20  "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."
 
” (Colossians 3:20).
 
 

Hello Ashley, 

 

   All of the posts here are excellent and may not be what you wanted to hear.  What have you decided to do, honor your parents and the Lord or feed your fleshly desires?  It is my hope you stay in fellowship with the Lord and have chosen the former over the latter.  Take comfort in knowing that all things work out for God's glory which you will benefit greatly from in ways that cannot be seen now.

  Why don't you join the forum?  We'd be delighted to have you.

 

Regards,

 

James 


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