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How to help a fallen Christian/ relationship advice


How to help a fallen Christian/ relationship advice
Name: Jennifer
Add a little more detail (optional): I am a 35 year old Christian woman. Raised Baptist. Never married. Holding out for the right man. I recently started dating someone and he is perfect for me, except he is a fallen Christian. He was raised as a Baptist. Attended church three times a week and went to the church's school. He had a very different experience than me! They were constantly told in class that the world was going to end before they were grown! He is 37 and the world has not ended yet. Baptist school punished girls for wearing pants of any type, even at home if the school found out. I told him that most Baptist churches are not like that, and he says he knows that now, but damage is done. He says he believed with all his heart and earnestly prayed salvation prayer, but never felt changed as he expected he would. Prayed it again and again. Sought help from chaplain. That didn't help. And now, as grown man, believes in God and prays to God, but doesn't believe the way is through Jesus. Has traveled the world and says Muslims, Buddhists,etc all feel in their heart a bond with God, feel it in in their hearts when they pray and that according to Christianity that isn't possible because not praying to our god so either man cant trusts the inner voice/his heart or those people have relationship with God and Christianity is wrong. I don't believe I should count on changing a man and enter a serious relationship with him, but I am 35 and I have finally found a special connection with a man. He is highly intelligent and well educated and will not be easily persuaded. I would like to believe that the Lord is going to use me to bring the man back to him, but I this man seems to have made up his mind although he struggled with this issue most of his life. It really caused him a lot of turmoil. He says he doesn't want any children he may have someday to be indoctrinated. He wants them to decide for themselves. I told him I believe he would be head of household and it would be his job to lead his children to Christ. I would just be his friend and witness to him as best I can, but despite having my choice of men over the years, none of them appealed to me and now that I have found one that I feel love and adoration for, I don't want to give up on him as a potential husband. He is very respectful of me and my beliefs! Has not intention of trying to change me. Don't want to discuss with anyone that I know. I appreciate anonymous perspective from other Baptists. Thank you!!!


5 Comments

To be honest, the biggest mistake you could make would be to marry him right now. He needs to settle his salvation and his walk with the Lord. It sounds like he had a rough road when he was in school - but many people did and that cannot be the excuse for not walking with the Lord as an adult.

 

I guarantee that if you allow your children to decide for themselves, they will choose to leave God out of their lives. If your friend does not believe that Jesus is the only Way, your life will be miserable. It sounds like he needs some serious help from a pastor or godly man you might know who can talk with him about things...

 

While I understand your desire to be married, you would be far better off to remain single.  Could you really be happy with your children being taught that Muslims, Buddhists, etc., feel a bond with God?  It is absolutely false and will lead to misery. I promise. 

I agree whole-heartedly with Happy Christian. You would be miserable. Will be praying for you for strength and wisdom. I am sure you are miserable right now, just thinking about it.

The Bible tells us:

 

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 

 

And God places great emphasis on marriage.  It is a triangle between you, your spouse and God.  If one of the spouses does not have a personal eternal relationship with God then  the spiritual health of the marriage is starting out on crutches.  Often it does not get better from there ... even though the world will tell you that a spouse can be changed it often does not happen.

 

Since before you were born God has in His will the perfect spouse for you.  Do yourself a favor ... wait on His perfect timing because He wants to bless you.

Jennifer, you can also show him from Scripture what the bible says about our hearts, that they are deceitful and desperately wicked, we cannot trust them.  We can however, trust in God's Word.  Peter walked with Jesus and was taught by Jesus and yet he said the best thing was the Scriptures.

 

Why don't you join the forum and enjoy sweet fellowship with the ladies and some of your Christian brothers?  We'd be delighted to have you.

Oh Jennifier, what a horrible position to be in!  I've been there, done that, and it was not only not good, but as close to Hell as I ever plan to get.  But I'm sure you already know all that.

 

I would offer more advice, but it would be more of the same, so I'll just suggest you read my autobiography at http://itsomuchfunwa.../come-home.html,  I wrote it for Christians who a) have left and want to come back and b.) ladies who might be going down that same road.  Your situation wasn't what I had in mind, but it might help you - both.  There is a tract titled 'Okay, I said the prayer, but how do I know I'm saved?' for the gentleman, and for you I would specifically recommend the chapter "George".  The your gentleman certainly won't fit all the characteristics, but you may see the result of marrying for love, knowing there are serious issues.

 

The link is for the entire book, without chapters, so if you start reading it (I'd say about 2 hours worth) and want to come back later, just remember what chapter you were on, or a name then click ctrl+f and type in the chapter or name to go straight there.  (And if you have any idea how to make separate posts on the page, please let me know so I can do that!  Would make it a lot easier for the reader to take up where they left off.)

 

May God give you wisdom and peace and grace for your situation. 

 

Nancy


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