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Should I go to Bible College or honor my dad?

Should I go to Bible College or honor my dad?
Name: Sara
Add a little more detail (optional): Well, I'm going to start off by saying that I know the Lord wants me to go into the ministry. I am a female, so it would be hard for me to get a job if I went to a non-accredited Bible College. I really, really feel like the Lord is calling me to go to Ambassador Baptist College in NC. It is non-accredited. My mom is rejoicing in the Lord that I , with the help of my Lord, have made this decision. But, my dad on the other hand, is very disappointed and we get into an argument everytime we talk about college. See, the thing is this: I am actually very smart, believe it or not;). In my 10th grade year, I was offered by my school to attend college full time and they would fully pay for it. I have many colleges willing to recruit me. For example: yale, harvard, princeton, etc. This is why my dad is upset, I can attend any college in the nation, but yet I want to attend a Bible College that is not accredited. I really think this is what the Lord wants for my life. I don't know what to do.

Thank you so much in advance,
Under his wings,


When you say, "I know the Lord wants me to go into the ministry", what do you mean? What ministry?
Ephesians 6

 1  Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

 2  Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

 3  That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

this is a hard truth but biblically you should honour his wishes.
You should also be praying that the Lord will change his heart on the matter.
Jun 19 2013 09:07 PM

"We ought to obey God rather than man."


Go to Ambassador Baptist. I would agree with  "honor thy father" but your father wants you to go to a secular college that is a cesspool of sin and will do all it can to destroy your faith in God. There will be nothing edifiying at all about it. Don't deceive yourself into thinking you'll be some kind of witness for God there. Most likely you get demoralized and beaten down like Lot did in Sodom.


You might have to leave home to avoid strife with your dad if he remains unsupportive. So it will be tough financially speaking unless you can get a loan or some other kind of support. You might only be able to attend college part time and have to hold a job.


Also, you can always get an accreditted education after you graduate from Ambassador Baptist.


You should talk to your pastor about this.

I agree talking to your pastor would be a great idea since he would know you and your family better than we do. Also he can talk to you more in detail about why you feel you are being led to Ambassador, and also what your dad would prefer you do in another college. Is your dad just wanting you to have a full scholarship? Do you think Ambassador could give you a scholarship? Or does your dad want you to have a certain profession? If you do end up going secular, then I advise going somewhere as local as possible so you can still be involved in your local church. If you are 100% sure you are being called to Ambassador, then God will have to figure out how to get you there....trust in Him.

I mostly agree with what ASongOfDegrees said above.  I do think your question narrative perhaps has some false conceptions though.  First is that of accreditation.  I don't know what area of ministry you are looking at going into, but there is are a many ministry opporutinities that don't put much, if any, importance on accreditation.  If it's ministry training you want, the Ambassador Baptist is a great place to start.  Ron Comfort (the Chancellor there) is probably one of my favorite preachers/evangelists that I've heard and has done some great things with the mission of that school.  There are several very good schools that choose not to seek accreditation in order to keep tuition costs down (federal oversight always drives up costs), and ABC is one.  I think you will still get a quality education that is centered on serving God.


I also think it is important to go to a quality Christian school (accredited or otherwise) for undergraduate work because that time in your life is very formative.  Many good Christian kids are lost in and to secular universities and few make it out on the other side without first straying very far from God's straight and narrow path.


With regard to your dad and obeying him, there's a caveat to obedience.  There is a distinction between honor and obey.  Honor (as in Ex 20:12 and Deu 5:16) speaks of respect and deference.  Obeying is certainly a part of that, especially when younger.  However, Ephesians 6:1 (referenced above) points out that obedience in respect to the Lord.  If your parents' instruction goes against God's instruction (or will) then clearly you will be in disobedience to someone.  I'd personally choose to obey God first.  Extreme example: if my dad told me to get high and shoot someone, that's obviously in contradiction to God's Word and I shouldn't obey that. 


Also consider Mark 10:29-30:


29 And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's,

30 But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.


And Luke 12:52-53:


52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.

53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.


Jesus said following Him would bring strife into your family due to the unbelief of some, but that it will not go unrewarded and unreturned.


All that being said, yes, talk to your pastor.  Continue to talk to BOTH of your parents.  Above all, talk to God.  If He has a full-time ministry role set aside for you, then you should try to discern what that is and plan your education accordingly.  If you think He is calling you into children's ministry/education or some type of missional work or parachurch organization administration, then there are excellent programs designed to posture you for success.  If you think He's calling you into pastoral service, I would rethink your plan in light of 1 Timothy 2:12 and 3:1-7 and consider that you may be misreading your calling.

Jun 20 2013 03:12 PM

Yes, you should talk with your parents more about this. Your dad may have a change of heart.

Sara,  this is a hard thing for you to have to face.  But know that your Dad loves you and wants the best for you, I'm sure. You don't say whether or not your Dad is a Christian. Is he?  If he is (and really, even if he isn't), you can appeal to him...


First, check your heart.  Are you completely right with God?  The reason I ask this is because you need to make sure there is nothing between you and the Savior before you approach your Dad.  And make sure that you are an obedient daughter.  Obedience is not just simply doing what we're told.  It is a heart issue - make sure that your obedience to your Dad is truly from an obedient heart.  If that is the case, your Dad will know it.  Parents have an amazing ability to see their children's attitudes even when kids are faking it (especially if they are saved!)


After making sure your heart is where it should be (and I'm not implying that it isn't...I'm simply laying the foundation), spend time in much prayer asking the Lord to either change your desire or change your Dad's mind and heart about the issue.


Talk to your pastor, and ask him for prayer in the matter.


And then go to your Dad.  Tell him how much you love him and want to honor his desires for you, and that you understand that he wants only what is best for you. And then let him know that you believe with all your heart that God wants you to go to Ambassador (if that is still the case).  Ask him if he would be willing to work with you on this, and give his blessing for you to go for a year, and then revisit the idea close to the end of the school year.


As has been said, honoring is not the same as obeying. But they are both a heart issue.  If your Dad reared you to love and serve the Lord, you would actually be honoring him if you pursue an education that will help you better serve the Lord.  But in order to not divide the family, you need to strive to get him on the same page as you.


I don't believe that going to a secular college will destroy you - unless you allow it to.  But it would be a good idea to find information about the wickedness that goes on in said schools so you can show your Dad what you want to avoid...

Sara, your question is loaded and lacks important detail but I’ll share some thoughts.


First, there are a minimum of three authority figures that should be involved in this decision making process; God, your dad, and your pastor. If you don’t have all three of them involved, you’re basically making the decision on your own.


Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Proverbs 11:14


1. You said, "I know the Lord wants me to go into the ministry." This is an honorable desire, but as a dad, I’d prefer my daughter’s mindset to be something like “I want to marry a man of God and help him serve in the ministry.”


2. Accredited colleges: There’s no chance I’d encourage anyone wanting to serve God to attend an accredited college. Choosing a college for employment opportunities is contradictory to giving your life for the ministry.


3. You said, “I really, really feel…” In my experience, that type of statement is a red flag. Feelings can and will change. Making decisions on based on scripture and wise counsel wins out over feelings 100% of the time.


4. You said, “I am actually very smart…” This may be true. However, secular universities are agenda driven. Intellect is only one factor when they’re choosing undergraduates. Often colleges reject highly qualified individuals and give scholarships to under-qualified minorities, women, and foreigners.


Your father is an authority figure in your life and it’s no accident if he has reservations about your situation. In my experience, it just doesn’t work out for the best in the long run when going against dad’s advice. Again, if your pastor, your dad, and God are not directly involved, you may make the wrong decision.

You need to obey your father as long as he does not cause you to sin, to disobey God, your father is your spiritual leader.


And remember, your only in the the 10th grade, you do not have the maturity to make such decisions.

Ephesians 6

 1  Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

 2  Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

 3  That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

this is a hard truth but biblically you should honour his wishes.
You should also be praying that the Lord will change his heart on the matter.Obey

Honor is different from obey. You can honor your parents by following Gods will for your life, even if the parents do not see it. Obey your parents "in the Lord". if your parent wants you to do anything against God that is not honor. Follow God first. Prayerfully your Dad will see Gods will for your life. 

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