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Unequally yoked music standards.


Unequally yoked music standards.
Name: Leah
Add a little more detail (optional): Should I so 'no' to a great, godly young man in order to hold to my conservative God honoring music standards? By this I mean I was raised on Patch the Pirate, sacred hymns and classical music. I personally could live, love and raise a family with music like this for a life time. I'm not a novice in music. Should I let go of my traditionally right kind of music only standard and be open to his music too? Mainly love songs nothing with raunchy words or rap... I'm torn. I'm concerned (scared is a more accurate word) that if I say 'no' to a fantastic young man I'll still find myself changing in the future anyway. I could easily listen to good music all by myself but is it an area I expect someone to jump in the trenches with me about? Is music an area that I actually want to fight for by only accepting a guy with high standards in it? And then...what if HE changes? Will I kick myself hard for not just "getting over" it way before when I was young, dumb and in love?
Also. Has ANYONE ever had an issue with this in their marriage? I feel like there is so much give and take. He has so many things that are must haves and doesn't have things I can't have. But I think about it and there are so many good guys with a big mark against them like coming from a broken home. Is this his big mark that I should not expect to get any better? I couldn't do any better than him...unless...in my heart of hearts....HE listened to great music.


4 Comments

Well, to be honest: if you firmly believe in your heart that your music standards are biblical and his are not and you marry him, you will do one of two things:

 

1. You will change your standards of music to fit to his and will grow to resent it

2. You will fight with him throughout your marriage on music standards, as you watch your children adopt music standards that you do not approve 

 

Either way, you will be miserable.

 

Perhaps you should talk to your parents and/or your pastor about the issue.

It's hard to tell without knowing exactly what your guy friend listens to.  What you are saying is that he does not really listen to heavy rock or rap.   If the worst he listens to is a gentle love song or something, and everything else is really great about him, then I would definitely just pray about it and talk to some trusted people for advice who knows him.  To me, every man and woman is going to have differences.  My husband and I have different tastes in music, but they are close enough to be harmonious.   Now if he listened to hard rock or rap, or really rocky CCM, then we might have issues...but from what you are saying, it doesn't sound that different.   Your music standards are great, but they are also very narrow (not saying that in a bad way) and to me, it is possible to find a VERY great guy who may differ slightly in what he feels is good music.   Don't dump him unless you are advised that there are serious negative issues...or unless God says to.  Good luck!

Does he go to church? Is he born again and do you share in your faith?  And how old are the two of you? If you are young yet, remember that as two love one another ad grow, they change and their paths converge together: some things are discarded as unimportant and others grow to something greater-you are not today what you will be in ten years. So there is time for growth.

 

So I would say it is more important to ensure you share the same faith, and the same zeal for the things of God. Do you both serve? are you active? Music will change: I usede to listen to CCM but over the years, as I grew, I have become a huge opponent to it. we learn and grow and change.Where do you stand in Christ?

When I was in high school I had - and still have - what some would consider "fanatically conservative" music standards. I knew from an early age that compatible music standards/views was going to be a big part of how I would know the man God had for me.

 

I was called many things including, "crazy," "too picky," and "weird," by both peers and authority figures, but because I was convinced that the conclusions I had come to were BIblical, I "stuck to my guns."

 

My senior year in highschool, I met that special one.

 

A person's musical choices reflect their inner man very vividly. I'd encourage you to carefully and prayerfully examine this young man's musical choices and see what they say about who he is. Then, take what you learn to someone you know will give you sound Bible-based advice.


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