Just to follow up on how the wedding went.First of all we put on the rehearsal dinner- no alcohol around- no toasts offered. Just great food and conversation. At the wedding everyone had clear water glasses and we just used those when a toast was presented. There was alcohol all around and God-awful ear thumping music that made it very difficult to even converse. We did stay at the hotel and manage to escape to our room for several much needed breaks. I was able, oddly enough at the reception, to witness and reach out to my wife's widowed aunt about coming to church with us as soon as she moves back to the area this month.
I cannot vouch for them but I have seen ads for Liberty University Online. They are accredited and have a wide variety of online degrees you can get. They say they are a Christian university and emphasize how they work with the military. Not necessarily cheap but they have a extensive Financial Aid part of their site. I am looking for other alternatives as well if they specialize in IFB students.
I was led to start a website to warn the lost that there is a real place called Hell. I don't profess to be the most technically savvy guy so it is not much but feel free to visit Hellisarealplace.com to look over. I would be interested in others opinions and suggestions for improvements.
Thanks everyone- jebarr
Will be praying for them. My son is down at Pensacola Christian College right now. Thankfully PCC is inland and is quite a bit above sea level. He said some kids were swimming/playing in some of the higher water around the dorms though. Crazy kids
Yes we are IFB but the son getting married is not saved and has only attended a church as a young teen but it was a more worldly church that did not even impress a need to be saved. My wife and I and two of the younger children were all saved in our IFB church we have been attending for the last 6 or 7 years.
We had a meeting with the preacher to discuss our two unsaved boys' upcoming marriages. If these were church weddings he would not marry them but since these are both marriages outside the church he said that he did not have a prOBlem doing the wedding but would not attend the reception.
He counseled us to "keep those you love the most close" in that while our sons know our convictions, we should not alienate them but rather love them and pray for them all while keeping our own good testimony and not compromising our convictions.
Your comments really encourage me as this past Thursday while out Soulwinning a guy angrily opened the day and said " I can tell by your shirt that I am not interested!" I happened to be wearing a leftover teen conference polo that said "Jesus, the choice for a new generation" I love that shirt and have always gotten many compliments on it but this was the first angry reaction I had seen from it. It startled me as I said "Your not interested in the Lord?" thinking I had misheard him. He came back with " Get on out of here, I said I don't want to hear it! I'm not interested!" Every other house out of maybe 30 homes all were very nice and some even said that they would come Sunday. Of course that one guy's reaction resonated over every positive reaction we got. So your comment made me realize that he was prOBably being worked on by the Holy Spirit and was fighting his convictions. Oddly enough it was about to rain and he said as we turned around "to stay dry and don't get soaked" with a smile. I think that he was trying to be nice at the end to tell us not to take it personally, but that he was just lashing out at the message on my shirt as it was convicting him even more.
Well we have no intention of offering a toast. This is our first son's marriage and have no idea fully what to expect. I have just read that at the Rehearsal Dinner and the Wedding Reception, toasting can be frequently offered so was just looking for advice on how to handle that with good stewardship.
Thank God she has testimony of being saved. I pray that she returns to the Lord soon. Your situation is definitely difficult with the distance and you funding the whole wedding. At least perhaps that will give you some control over the content. It is hard when it is our own children who are away from God. We can only pray for them daily and love them. Offer that you will always be there in a time of need as will Christ.
Thanks again all for the discussion. All make excellent points and agree that I want to abstain from the appearance of all evil as testimony of my faith in Jesus Christ. I personally stay out of the alcohol aisles at grocery stores, but have in the past went to sporting events where it is all around. My saved son once innocently took pictures of the "Clydesdales" at the state fair and posted in on Instagram. I had to point out to him that in the background one could see "Budweiser" signs and that others could perceive this as him condoning it. He understood and immediately removed the post.
Funny Heartstrings about the dry toast! My wife would love if we could use toasted PBJ's to salute their marriage
I have never had a prOBlem longing for alcohol but I still try to stay away from it as best I can. Unfortunately like lustful ads and dress it is everywhere in society. Who can even watch the Super Bowl anymore?
Does anyone know the meaning behind the toasting? I mean if we use different glasses with green mountain dew, would that show people that we are not partaking in alcohol or is the very act itself celebrating and advocating alcohol? I really have no prOBlem sitting there with a smile on my face if that is the case. I hear these toasts can be brought up at anytime by someone so I do not know if excusing myself and leaving every time is possible but could be good for my exercise By the way, are these coffee guys toasting?
Thank you all so very much for your insight. I can say I agree with everyone's viewpoint about taking this to the Lord and we have been in much prayer about it. This boy is our oldest of four children and his brother is getting married next year. Similar situation but we do know that they are having our IFB pastor perform the ceremony at least. I know that I have to make a stand for God and cannot compromise my morals but I am not sure that I can totally skip the reception. We are staying in the hotel too, so we may be able to just leave when the alcohol and dancing get going. That way we are able to participate in at least some of it.
I like the idea of toasting with water or soda- I just did not know if that would be bad testimony or not.
I do think my wife would have say on what song is picked out for that mother/son dance so that may help. Even though we abstain from dancing normally.
My wife doesn't want to have hurt feelings as grand kids will prOBably be entering the picture next year and the future fiance seems very much in charge in the relationship. So we try the best we can to maintain good relations, invite them to church all the time, and pray for them everyday.
We know that this is their day but everyday is the Lord's to us so we will make our concerns known before hand and hopefully talk this out so that everyone knows the expectations for that day.
Thank you all so much for your help in this matter again. I think we may have a meeting with our pastor too.