Growing up between two vastly different cultures ( Amish and English - loooong twisted story lol) I didn't understand a lot of the things about how my plain side lived and the other side of the family lived another. It was very confusing at such a young age. I don't remember much about what I asked or was confused about but what I do remember is my adopted parents trying their best to explain. Plus I got a chance at that early stage of life to understand what conviction and discipline was.
Kids are better off with an honest "no" then a "yes" out of complacency,trust me.
What really seemed odd to me, for lack of a better word, is the sway the older church women had on the preacher. He'd say something in the pulpit one didn't like, she'd talk or even argue with him in front of everyone on the way out, and the next week he's apologizing for saying whatever it was he preached on. Just rubbed me the wrong way and after the first time it put my hackels up.
Thanks for all the support, Y'all. To answer the earlier, no kids yet. But husband and I are trying to stand firm now so when kids do come along we can keep her at bay ( so to speak ) as a front. I figured it would be easier to stick to boundaries if she's shown that neither of us are going to compromise and that we both say the same thing. Kind of like parents when a kid will try to play one off the other tog et what they want.
My husband and I were formerly SDA and after talking to other ex-Adventists it seems that each church is a little bit different. I can't speak for them all but we had bad experiences. Church doctrine itself changed drastically once we were baptised in to membership and questioning anything basically got me could-shouldered on and off for the time I was there. Eventually, we experienced many Biblical abuses.
I was told by the preacher that if you cry during prayer it's because you have sin on your sould and aren't truly saved, for example. That it's ok to eat meat (part of the health message/food restrictions) but that people who do so are in danger of hell, even if they believe in the Christ and are saved. The preacher would say salvation is forever and after a few months, from pressure of some of the older members who questioned him, changed his stance and said that re-baptism was needed for salvation after sin. There's a much longer list of everything that went on, really.
It came on suddenly, the doctrinal changes, and finally we left when the preacher stated that if a decision between Ellen White's writings or the Bible was needed that White took precedence, being more recent prophecy.
I, for one, consider it a cult having seen it from the inside and knowing many people who've left the SDAs.
I can't be the only woman out there dealing with hard-to-manage family.
Basically, my mother thinks it's her job to meddle, cuss like a sailor, talk evil of everyone and everything then outright ridicule our home's foundation. In the middle of it all she expects me to constantly be around her at every second and If I don't then she lies and trys to start drama with other family just to gt my attention.
My husband and I both have put our foot down in so many ways, asked her to leave our home, restricted time with her, confonted her in love and honesty.........everything we could think of. We both figured that her childish behavior would at least soften if she saw that we followed through with our telling her basically "behave or we can't come play" lol. Unfortunatly, neither being loving nor strict nor honest is helping.It's been over a year since she's moved to our town, a few blocks away,and she's still trying to convince us to move in nearer or even with her and my dad.
I'm fine with the concept of loving from a distance, but I can't bring myself to make that distance further than it is already. I don't want to push her out of my life but can't stand being around someone who is untrustworthy and gets satisfation from trying to get me to cry.