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2bLikeJesus

Independent Fundamental Baptist
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  1. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus reacted to DaveW in "Cat" is the first word in CATastrophe   
    If I had been drinking my coffee when I read this, I would now have a coffee coloured computer screen.
     
    In a similar vein (although far less "enthusiastic") my youngest daughter has made a whole bunch of "Christmas star" decorations out of paper bags, and we hung them from the roof with "blue tack" sticky putty.
    Our dog started barking and looking suspiciously at these things, but eventually calmed down - until one fell on him as he walked under it (it is only paper, so it didn't hurt him, but it did surprise him).
    He took off like a scaleded cat  Gary's cat.... outside and would not come back inside for anything. When we eventually did manage to coax him back inside, he lurked around with his head down, looking up at these things hanging from the roof like they were going to attack him at any minute, and hightailed it outside again as soon as we would let him.
    You have to understand that he is not a small dog by any means, and he has been "an inside dog" since we got him, and he can not bear to be away from people - yet he chose to stay outside rather than tempt the wrath of the paper bag stars. He wouldn't even come near the back door while it was open....
    It was only when we locked the door at night (with him inside) and he had no choice that he calmed down a bit, and then he slept in the hallway instead of the family room, because there were no stars in the hallway.
    He is over it now, but it was a day's good entertainment.....
    Nowhere near as funny as Gary's cat story, but it did keep us entertained.
     
    If you don't mind, I think I am going to copy that downa nd read it for our Christmas time fellowship night...... (I will give credit! - you will be world famous!)
  2. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from No Nicolaitans in "Cat" is the first word in CATastrophe   
    The following is a true story about my long gone but beloved cat named "Fuzzface".  
    It was Christmas time and as usual I had received a steady stream of boxes from family with gifts.  One box was large with several individually wrapped gifts inside all packed in white styrofoam peanuts.  I was sitting on the living room floor pulling out the individual boxes and of course styrofoam peanuts were getting all over the floor.  My cat was in the other room laying down in a laundry basket full of nice warm, fresh from the dryer, clothes (bad kitty).  When shooed from the laundry basket he came running into the living room and then...CATastrophe!  There was so much static electricity built up in his fur from laying on those dryer clothes that the styrofoam peanuts LEAPED off the floor and attacked him, sticking all over his fur.  Having a hundred small creatures leaping at him did NOT impress my cat and to make it worse, every time he would bat one off it would fly 6 inches and then come right back!  My cat totally lost it then and started running around the room in a full panic howling at the top of his lungs!  I knew I had to do something before he hurt himself or the neighbors called the SPCA to report I was torturing a cat in my apartment.  I knew I had to kill the static electricity on my cats fur and I spotted the spray water bottle on the ironing board.  I grabbed it and started chasing my cat around the room squirting him with water.  This did NOT impress my cat either, but thankfully it worked and the peanuts fell off.  Afterwards, my cat was forever terrified of styrofoam peanuts, being scarred for life.
    This fear though actually turned out to have one huge advantage.  My cat was a nightmare every Christmas because he simply could not leave the Christmas tree bulbs alone.  All night he would bat them off the tree and chase them around the house.  Then I thought to put "snow" under the tree using white styrofoam peanuts!  Problem solved!  My cat not only wouldn't get near the tree, he wouldn't even come into the same room as the tree ever again!
    Bro. Garry
     
  3. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from No Nicolaitans in "Cat" is the first word in CATastrophe   
    The following is a true story about my long gone but beloved cat named "Fuzzface".  
    It was Christmas time and as usual I had received a steady stream of boxes from family with gifts.  One box was large with several individually wrapped gifts inside all packed in white styrofoam peanuts.  I was sitting on the living room floor pulling out the individual boxes and of course styrofoam peanuts were getting all over the floor.  My cat was in the other room laying down in a laundry basket full of nice warm, fresh from the dryer, clothes (bad kitty).  When shooed from the laundry basket he came running into the living room and then...CATastrophe!  There was so much static electricity built up in his fur from laying on those dryer clothes that the styrofoam peanuts LEAPED off the floor and attacked him, sticking all over his fur.  Having a hundred small creatures leaping at him did NOT impress my cat and to make it worse, every time he would bat one off it would fly 6 inches and then come right back!  My cat totally lost it then and started running around the room in a full panic howling at the top of his lungs!  I knew I had to do something before he hurt himself or the neighbors called the SPCA to report I was torturing a cat in my apartment.  I knew I had to kill the static electricity on my cats fur and I spotted the spray water bottle on the ironing board.  I grabbed it and started chasing my cat around the room squirting him with water.  This did NOT impress my cat either, but thankfully it worked and the peanuts fell off.  Afterwards, my cat was forever terrified of styrofoam peanuts, being scarred for life.
    This fear though actually turned out to have one huge advantage.  My cat was a nightmare every Christmas because he simply could not leave the Christmas tree bulbs alone.  All night he would bat them off the tree and chase them around the house.  Then I thought to put "snow" under the tree using white styrofoam peanuts!  Problem solved!  My cat not only wouldn't get near the tree, he wouldn't even come into the same room as the tree ever again!
    Bro. Garry
     
  4. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from HappyChristian in Whats for Supper...   
    We are celebrating me getting a new job at the VA Hospital so it is Elk Backstrap from our hunt this year!  Having it with delicata squash (some call it peanut squash) from our garden and Yukon Gold potatoes also from the garden.  
  5. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus reacted to Pastor Scott Markle in Not Done, Just Very Busy At Present   
    For those who may be interested,
    I am aware that I have a number of "more intensive" forum discussions unto which I have contributed just "hanging" at present.  I am writing this "note" in order to inform those who may be looking for my next contribution in one of them - I am NOT done, but just very busy at present with ministry, family, and holiday responsibilities.  For me, contributing to these "more intensive" discussions requires more than just a few, quick lines.  Please be patient with me.
    Thank you,
    Pastor Scott Markle
  6. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from No Nicolaitans in "Cat" is the first word in CATastrophe   
    The following is a true story about my long gone but beloved cat named "Fuzzface".  
    It was Christmas time and as usual I had received a steady stream of boxes from family with gifts.  One box was large with several individually wrapped gifts inside all packed in white styrofoam peanuts.  I was sitting on the living room floor pulling out the individual boxes and of course styrofoam peanuts were getting all over the floor.  My cat was in the other room laying down in a laundry basket full of nice warm, fresh from the dryer, clothes (bad kitty).  When shooed from the laundry basket he came running into the living room and then...CATastrophe!  There was so much static electricity built up in his fur from laying on those dryer clothes that the styrofoam peanuts LEAPED off the floor and attacked him, sticking all over his fur.  Having a hundred small creatures leaping at him did NOT impress my cat and to make it worse, every time he would bat one off it would fly 6 inches and then come right back!  My cat totally lost it then and started running around the room in a full panic howling at the top of his lungs!  I knew I had to do something before he hurt himself or the neighbors called the SPCA to report I was torturing a cat in my apartment.  I knew I had to kill the static electricity on my cats fur and I spotted the spray water bottle on the ironing board.  I grabbed it and started chasing my cat around the room squirting him with water.  This did NOT impress my cat either, but thankfully it worked and the peanuts fell off.  Afterwards, my cat was forever terrified of styrofoam peanuts, being scarred for life.
    This fear though actually turned out to have one huge advantage.  My cat was a nightmare every Christmas because he simply could not leave the Christmas tree bulbs alone.  All night he would bat them off the tree and chase them around the house.  Then I thought to put "snow" under the tree using white styrofoam peanuts!  Problem solved!  My cat not only wouldn't get near the tree, he wouldn't even come into the same room as the tree ever again!
    Bro. Garry
     
  7. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from No Nicolaitans in "Cat" is the first word in CATastrophe   
    The following is a true story about my long gone but beloved cat named "Fuzzface".  
    It was Christmas time and as usual I had received a steady stream of boxes from family with gifts.  One box was large with several individually wrapped gifts inside all packed in white styrofoam peanuts.  I was sitting on the living room floor pulling out the individual boxes and of course styrofoam peanuts were getting all over the floor.  My cat was in the other room laying down in a laundry basket full of nice warm, fresh from the dryer, clothes (bad kitty).  When shooed from the laundry basket he came running into the living room and then...CATastrophe!  There was so much static electricity built up in his fur from laying on those dryer clothes that the styrofoam peanuts LEAPED off the floor and attacked him, sticking all over his fur.  Having a hundred small creatures leaping at him did NOT impress my cat and to make it worse, every time he would bat one off it would fly 6 inches and then come right back!  My cat totally lost it then and started running around the room in a full panic howling at the top of his lungs!  I knew I had to do something before he hurt himself or the neighbors called the SPCA to report I was torturing a cat in my apartment.  I knew I had to kill the static electricity on my cats fur and I spotted the spray water bottle on the ironing board.  I grabbed it and started chasing my cat around the room squirting him with water.  This did NOT impress my cat either, but thankfully it worked and the peanuts fell off.  Afterwards, my cat was forever terrified of styrofoam peanuts, being scarred for life.
    This fear though actually turned out to have one huge advantage.  My cat was a nightmare every Christmas because he simply could not leave the Christmas tree bulbs alone.  All night he would bat them off the tree and chase them around the house.  Then I thought to put "snow" under the tree using white styrofoam peanuts!  Problem solved!  My cat not only wouldn't get near the tree, he wouldn't even come into the same room as the tree ever again!
    Bro. Garry
     
  8. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus reacted to No Nicolaitans in Superstitious...a poor translation?   
    Wellllll...another one bites the dust.
    I was listening to one of the few preachers that I listen to when I listen to preachers that I like to listen to...AND...then he went and just had to say it...
    The word "superstitious" is a poor translation in Acts 17:22. It actually means "religious".
    I thought, "Great, there goes another one. My listening choices are getting thinner."
    When are folks ever going to learn that you can't always apply a modern definition to a word that was penned in the 1600's?
    Here's the verse...
    Acts 17:22
    Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars' hill, and said, Ye men of Athens, I perceive that in all things ye are too superstitious.
    Now, if you remember, these men of Athens...just to make sure they had all the god-bases covered...made an altar "TO THE UNKNOWN GOD". That's pretty extreme, isn't it? Just in case there's a god somewhere that we've missed...LET'S MAKE AN ALTAR FOR HIM TOO! Why...I'd almost call that religious extremism...religious zealotry...etc...
    Okay...so today, we have our own idea of what "superstitious" means...right? Perhaps that definition could shortly be summarized as being akin to believing in something not based on reason or rational knowledge. Now, a lost atheist would definitely use today's definition in terms of belief in God...but this was Paul speaking...not a lost Atheist. 
    So...what exactly did "superstitious" mean? In other words...what did "superstitious" mean in the 1600's? Let's have a look-see...from Robert Cawdrey's "A Table Alphabetical" of 1604...
    superstitious, feareful in matters of religion without cause, one giuen to false and vaine religion 
    http://www.library.utoronto.ca/utel/ret/cawdrey/cawdrey0.html#s
    Hmmm...looks like the KJB translators nailed it to me...
    By the way...look at one of the modern-day definitions of "superstitious"...
    adjective
    1.  of the nature of, characterized by, or proceeding from superstition : superstitious fears.
    2.  pertaining to or connected with superstition : superstitious legends.
    3.  believing in, full of, or influenced by superstition.
    Oh great...to find it, now we have to look up the meaning of superstition...
    noun
    1.  a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge, in or of the ominous significance of a particular thing, circumstance, occurrence,proceeding, or the like.
    2.  a system or collection of such beliefs.
    3.  a custom or act based on such a belief.
    4.  irrational fear of what is unknown or mysterious, especially in connection with religion.
    5.  any blindly accepted belief or notion.
    Yep...the KJB translators nailed it. : )
  9. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus reacted to No Nicolaitans in Put Your Bad Jokes Here...   
    10...binary...LOL! 
  10. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus reacted to Pastor Scott Markle in Are all Christians commanded to go soul-wining?   
    Yes, all who are born again through faith in Christ are responsible for the ministry and word of the gospel toward the lost world.
    In 2 Corinthians 5:17 God's Word speaks concerning those who are born again in Christ, saying, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."  Then in 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 God's Word reveals the responsibility that the Lord our God has entrusted unto all who are born again in Christ, saying, "And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God."
    ALL born again believers have been entrusted by God with "the ministry of reconciliation," the ministry of the gospel.  ALL born again believers have been entrusted by God with "the word of reconciliation," the word of the gospel.  ALL born again believers have been called by God as "ambassadors for Christ," as witnesses unto Him.  ALL born again believers have been called by God as the very mouthpieces of God, as though God Himself did beseech the lost world by and through us.  ALL born again believers have been called by God to plead (pray) for lost souls to be saved through faith in Christ, and to do so in the stead of Christ Himself.
    ______________________________________________
    On the other hand, upon what grammatical or contextual grounds may we claim that the "great commission" is a "church commission"?  In not one of the "great commission" passages (that is -- Matthew 28:16-20; Mark 16:14-20; Luke 24:44-53; Acts 1:4-8) is the "church" directly mentioned within the immediate context of those passages.
    By the way, I myself do hold that the "church" began in embryonic form BEFORE the day of Pentecost.  Therefore, I am asking this question, not as a question against the existence of the "church," but as a question for precision in our Bible study.
     
  11. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from No Nicolaitans in God is Silent?   
  12. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus reacted to HappyChristian in Why are Christians voting for Donald Trump?   
    Dominionism is the belief system behind the Reconstructionist and Reformed movements of theology.
    Puritans, after whom the reformed theology movement is patterned, believed that they were literally creating a new Israel, complete with adherence to the OT law. They are actually considered the original proponents of Dominionism - in a nutshell the idea that Christians can get Christ to return sooner by setting up a theocracy and forcing people to follow "righteousness."
    Reconstructionists deny that they are dominionists, and yet they actually are. Rushdoony was the founder of the movement. In point of fact, the Christian school movement was the brain child of Reconstructionists. They believed that the schools would raise a generation of righteous children who would take over society for God. Of course, that isn't how they put it, but that was the idea. 
    But, just as we see in history, the Puritan movement did not create righteousness. It created self-righteousness. So, too, did the Christian school movement.  
    Because of what Dominionism is, it is easy to accuse someone who is a Christian and in politics of being a dominionist. But that is not always an accurate appellation. 
    Just because someone believes that it's a good thing to have Christians involved in different areas of society (like government) does not mean that particular someone believes that the OT law needs to be imposed on everything. Nor does it mean that particular someone believes that Christians are supposed to purify all aspects of society in order to usher in the millennium.
    Yes, we are to be witnesses for Christ. But that does not mean that we aren't to be involved in things like government. How ridiculous is it to think that just because we are Christians, we are to sit back and let the ungodly create and enforce our laws, create and run all businesses, etc and so forth. That is actually the mentality many people have, and labeling an involved Christian - one who actually believes and follows the Constitution (and that alone should convince anyone who understands dominionism that he is not a dominionist) - as a dominionist is a good way to revile the person and cause folks who don't look beyond a few articles "proving" involvement to be convinced that person is evil.
    edited to add: Interestingly enough, regarding Christian schools, Baptist history is absent from the education. Baptists were the ones responsible for our Bill of Rights. They understood persecution and knew what political oppression did. However, in Christian school education, the Puritans are the ones presented as being proponents of liberty. Look at textbooks used to teach history in Christian schools and you'll see that Baptist influence on this country - which was huge - is completely absent. Puritans are lifted up. It is no surprise that the Reformed movement has taken such hold in Christianity. It is the outgrowth of Reconstructionism.
    Now, I want to clarify: I attended Christian schools as a child. I did receive an excellent education, and I am thankful for that. And I was not taught the Calvinistic worldview. But I also was not taught anything about the Baptists (even in the Baptist schools I was in). Religious history was all about the Puritans and Pilgrims. No mention was ever made of the persecution of other beliefs the Puritans practiced. 
  13. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from HappyChristian in Why are Christians voting for Donald Trump?   
    After looking further into Trump, there is no way as a Christian I could possibly vote for him and not be endorsing evil, and of course Hilary is even worse.  I just as firmly believe it would be un-scriptural to NOT vote at all.  Therefore, I am forced to either vote 3rd party if a viable option is available or if not, vote a write in candidate, but I believe as a Christian I MUST vote.  
  14. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from Alan in Do You Believe There Was Not Rain Before The Flood Of Noah?   
    Genesis 9:13-14 (KJV)
    13  I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.
    14  And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud: 
     
    By this it appears no one had ever seen a rainbow before the flood.  Another proof of no rain before the flood.
  15. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from Golgotha in Put Your Bad Jokes Here...   
    A scientist makes a clone of himself, the scientific world is in awe and can't wait to meet him and his clone.  The big day arrives with great pomp and ceremony and the scientist bursting with pride introduces his clone.  His clone begins swearing a cursing worse than any sailor ever dreamed.  The audience is stunned, and the scientist totally loses it because of the humiliation and grabs his clone and tries to throw him out of the top floor window!  They wrestle him to the ground before he succeeds and charge him with.....
    Attempting to make an obscene clone fall.
  16. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from Golgotha in Put Your Bad Jokes Here...   
    A scientist makes a clone of himself, the scientific world is in awe and can't wait to meet him and his clone.  The big day arrives with great pomp and ceremony and the scientist bursting with pride introduces his clone.  His clone begins swearing a cursing worse than any sailor ever dreamed.  The audience is stunned, and the scientist totally loses it because of the humiliation and grabs his clone and tries to throw him out of the top floor window!  They wrestle him to the ground before he succeeds and charge him with.....
    Attempting to make an obscene clone fall.
  17. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from HappyChristian in Whats for Supper...   
    I suppose if I am going to show a Salmon picture if I am having fish, it's only fair....

    Black Angus steaks tonight!  
  18. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from HappyChristian in How to pronounce Amon   
    We have great fun with our computer programming instructor when he talks about creating "flowcharts".  He has a deep Chinese accent and it is hilarious hearing him try to pronounce "parallelogram".
  19. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from HappyChristian in How to pronounce Amon   
    We have great fun with our computer programming instructor when he talks about creating "flowcharts".  He has a deep Chinese accent and it is hilarious hearing him try to pronounce "parallelogram".
  20. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from MountainChristian in How to pronounce Amon   
    All I know is not pronouncing something correctly can be downright deadly!  
    Judges 12:6 (KJV)
    6  Then said they unto him, Say now Shibboleth: and he said Sibboleth: for he could not frame to pronounce it right. Then they took him, and slew him at the passages of Jordan: and there fell at that time of the Ephraimites forty and two thousand.
     
  21. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from HappyChristian in NOW what do I do...   
    Well, that's what Miss Carpenter ended up doing.  Ordering online and having it shipped to me.  I had to laugh though on what she bought as I was struck by the irony of it.  She bought new shower curtains and liner, bathroom rug set, over-the-door towel rack, shower caddie, and other stuff to turn my bachelor bathroom into a single room for a man or woman...
    Bro. Garry
  22. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus reacted to Jim_Alaska in Whats for Supper...   
    I often do a shrimp stir fry, my own recipe. But stir fry is not really fried food in the sense that it is not breaded and fried like chicken. Mine consists of shrimp, various vegetables, and several seasonings. It's disgustingly healthy, not to mention great tasting. Even someone from Roseburg, Oregon might like it.    
  23. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from Jim_Alaska in Whats for Supper...   
    BURN THE HERETIC!!!
  24. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from Pastor Scott Markle in Trying To Find TRADITIONAL Wedding Vows   
    I love you Pastor Markle!  This is EXACTLY what I was seeking!  You just topped all wedding gifts we might receive!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    Bro. Garry Santos
  25. Thanks
    2bLikeJesus got a reaction from Pastor Scott Markle in Trying To Find TRADITIONAL Wedding Vows   
    I love you Pastor Markle!  This is EXACTLY what I was seeking!  You just topped all wedding gifts we might receive!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    Bro. Garry Santos
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