Jump to content

Photo

Way Of Life - Christian Parents Are Losing Their Children


  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#1 RSS Robot

RSS Robot

    Super Contributor

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,917 posts
257
Excellent

Posted 10 October 2013 - 07:18 AM

The following article by Evangelist Paul Freeman was first published by us in O Timothy magazine Vol. 7, Issue 7, 1990. It was first preached more than 30 years ago, but it is still relevant today. See the book Keeping the Kids from Way of Life Literature for more on this subject.

zz_family_10_9
It is quite obvious today that many Christians are losing their children. There is nothing in their lives to give rise to the hope that they are bound for Heaven. In the light of Prov. 22:6, it appears that they are not being raised in the way they "should go," or they would not depart from the Lord. I would like to look at some of the reasons why Christians are losing their children.

THEY WILL NOT MAKE THEM ATTEND ALL THE SERVICES

As long as they live in your home and receive all the benefits of that home, they must be made to be in all the church meetings. You are not to stick around and lament their lack of spirituality; church attendance is required whether they are loving it or not.

THEY WILL NOT THROW OUT THE TELEVISION SET

The “sin box” is the greatest detriment to your child's salvation that you can have in your house. The Lord's name is taken in vain, and you sit there and do nothing. Fornication comes into your living room, and your children are feeding on it until they become inflamed and strike out after the world.

THEY WILL NOT KEEP THEM FROM DATING THE LOST

We are commanded to keep our children from marrying the lost (2 Cor. 6:14; Deut. 7:3,4). Since dating always precedes marriage we must not allow them to date the unsaved while they are under our roof.

THEY WILL NOT HAVE MEANINGFUL FAMILY DEVOTIONS

Most Christians have no family devotions at all. When they do become convicted about this neglect, they often have family devotions just so they can say they did it. The father should see that a meaningful time of Bible reading and prayer is conducted with questions and answers for all to profit.

THEY WILL NOT SPANK THEIR CHILDREN

A father who does not spank his children does not love them (Prov. 13:24).

A failure to discipline will lead to a surly manner and lack of respect.

Overlooking disobedience will lead to open defiance in the teen years. It is great wisdom on the part of a parent to spank the child (Prov. 19:18; 23:13,14).

THEY WILL NOT ENROLL THEM IN A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

Fathers who keep their children in public school for sports are very foolish. There is nothing spiritual about sports in a pagan schoolhouse. Enter them in a Christian school and don't ask them whether they want to go--just do it. Cancel your IRA, trade down the car, sell the house, do what you have to do, but don't let the heathen have them to educate (Jer. 10:2). [Note from Brother Cloud: In our experience, a good home schooling education is often superior educationally and spiritually than one from a Christian school.]



View the full article

#2 John81

John81

    Running to Win

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 60,349 posts
5,274
Excellent

Posted 10 October 2013 - 07:59 AM

What all of these points come down to is parents who live like the world and raise their children to do the same.

 

When one hears most Christians talking with non-Christians it's clear they have much in common and they all speak of the same things. Other than perhaps a difference in the churches they attend, or that the Christian attends and the non-Christian doesn't, they are nearly the same. They talk about the same TV shows they all watched, the same movies they went to Saturday night, the same school their children attend and how their sports team is doing.

 

I've heard many Christian parents complaining about their children's friends, or fretting that their daughter has started dating at such a young age, about the music they listen to and the TV/movies they watch. When asked who lets them do these things and who pays for it they sheepishly admit they do, along with a hundred and one excuses as to why they "have to".

 

I can't even count the number of parents who look at me in shock and disbelief when I explain to them the reason my children don't do these things is because I say no to such. Time and again the parents will say that their child would never listen to them if they told them no, or that they would just do it anyway. They can't understand how I can be so "strict" and my children actually listen to me while I can't understand how they can be so spineless and not realize how much harm they are causing their children.

 

Many times over the years as our pastor has tried to help parents learn to biblically parent their children, he's heard parents tell him, "well, you're a pastor, of course that works for you"...or, "being a pastor your children have to mind"...or, "that's fine for pastors, but regular people can't live like that". Again, excuse after excuse.

 

We had a fine IFB church starting up here and several folks showed interest but every one of them said the same thing. They would come if our church had active youth programs going on. When pastor told them youth programs required youth and if they would come to the church they would have youth and build a youth program with them, but that wasn't good enough. They wanted an active youth program already in place and none of them were willing to be the first to commit to the church, always waiting to see what others might do. Even while admitting they would rather attend a more sound church, they said their main concern was an active and fun youth program so they would stay in the watered down church with the fun and active youth programs. Of course they said if we ever got up and going they would consider coming then, but not until. That's what doomed our little IFB church plant. We never got over two elderly adults, two children (both ours) and my wife and I.

 

Many non-church parents send their children to Sunday school or VBS but never attend themselves. Typically when their children get older they show no interest in church and drop away. Many of the church parents let their children decide whether or not they want to attend church or not and eventually most of these drop away.

 

Thankfully there are a few parents who faithfully attend, bringing their children with them no matter their age, and making sure they are involved in children/youth programs.

 

Amazingly, there are some parents who say it's too much trouble to drive their children back and forth to church when they live in the same town, but they will drive 30 minutes to eat a Big Mac.

 

I remember when the newly consolidated school system began holding sports award banquets on Sundays, as well as some other sports related events, and how on those Sundays every church in town saw their attendance drop greatly. Our pastor attempted to fight this but couldn't get a single other pastor in the school district to do so. The school board didn't care what one pastor had to say.

 

Sad to say but most all Christian parents placed the sports activities above church attendance. Had even a fourth of them stood up and said their children wouldn't be attending any sports related event on Sundays the school board would have moved such to Saturdays.



#3 HappyChristian

HappyChristian

    Waiting patiently (ahem) for grandchildren...

  • Moderators
  • 17,567 posts
1,920
Excellent

Posted 10 October 2013 - 09:07 AM

And yet there are Christian parents who don't do all of those things, who work to rear their children in the Lord, who pray and cry to the Lord for their children...and still lose them.  It isn't always about the parenting..



#4 John81

John81

    Running to Win

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 60,349 posts
5,274
Excellent

Posted 10 October 2013 - 09:52 AM

And yet there are Christian parents who don't do all of those things, who work to rear their children in the Lord, who pray and cry to the Lord for their children...and still lose them.  It isn't always about the parenting..

No, it isn't always about parenting, but at this stage it is mostly about parenting and the exceedingly large number of Christian parents who parent more in accord with the world than the Bible. The article seems to be addressing that problem.



#5 HappyChristian

HappyChristian

    Waiting patiently (ahem) for grandchildren...

  • Moderators
  • 17,567 posts
1,920
Excellent

Posted 10 October 2013 - 10:26 AM

I'm sure it is.  But too often if a child goes awry, parents are lumped into the "failure" category.  I agree that today many parents are worldly in their outlook and their parenting.  But not all.  That's all I was saying.  Not that there isn't accuracy in the article.



#6 John81

John81

    Running to Win

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 60,349 posts
5,274
Excellent

Posted 10 October 2013 - 11:25 AM

I'm sure it is.  But too often if a child goes awry, parents are lumped into the "failure" category.  I agree that today many parents are worldly in their outlook and their parenting.  But not all.  That's all I was saying.  Not that there isn't accuracy in the article.

I agree 100%. It's totally wrong to jump to the conclusion that just because a child goes astray that means the parents didn't try to parent biblically. There are those who make such leaps but unless one believes that children of Christian parents are virtually predestined to be saved, and there are some who teach that, then it's wrong to ignore the fact children have wills of their own and must make their own choice as to whether or not they will accept or reject Christ.

 

Thankfully, the article doesn't seem to imply that but it does only address those parents who do take a worldly rather than biblical approach without mentioning that it's only addressing that group and not others.



#7 JerryNumbers

JerryNumbers

    Life is about Jesus, not self

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26,276 posts
2,523
Excellent
  • LocationIn the south

Posted 10 October 2013 - 07:45 PM

Parenting is thrown out the window when the children attends public school & all their friends are worldly. Most children will want to go the way of their worldly friends.



#8 John81

John81

    Running to Win

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 60,349 posts
5,274
Excellent

Posted 11 October 2013 - 05:59 PM

Many parents expect the public schools and Sunday school teachers to do their jobs for them. I've heard many imply or outright say so themselves. Their young child acts up and the parents comment that the teachers will straighten them out when they start school. Many parents believe Sunday school and VBS is all the spiritual training their children need.

 

When children go bad it's common to hear parents blaming teachers, their children's friends, the parents of those friends, and just about anyone but themselves.



#9 1John2:15-17

1John2:15-17

    It Is Well With My Soul

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,281 posts
231
Excellent
  • LocationNear Cleveland, Ohio

Posted 12 October 2013 - 06:34 PM

And when the "typically" non-church going kids return home from VBS or whatever and the is little or no lasting change, then the parents will think/say "see, no need to go to church, they didn't change my kid."

#10 John81

John81

    Running to Win

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 60,349 posts
5,274
Excellent

Posted 13 October 2013 - 06:34 AM

And when the "typically" non-church going kids return home from VBS or whatever and the is little or no lasting change, then the parents will think/say "see, no need to go to church, they didn't change my kid."

I've heard similar statements. When asked why a couple stopped bringing their children to Sunday school they said their children had been in Sunday school for a couple of years and they were still spoiled brats that wouldn't mind or act right, so what's the point.

 

Too many parents want the good moments of parenthood but want nothing to do with the tough parts that take continual attention, such as training, instructing, discipline, as well as setting a good example. So much easier for them to blame all their children's problems on others as they ignore their responsibility.



#11 1John2:15-17

1John2:15-17

    It Is Well With My Soul

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,281 posts
231
Excellent
  • LocationNear Cleveland, Ohio

Posted 13 October 2013 - 07:48 AM

My sister is a lukewarm Lutheran. We had a brief discussion on the Bible that she shut down when I made some comments in reply to her thought that her churches beliefs and ours were nearly identical. I pointed out a few of the obvious differences and she decided to quit conversing. Along with that conversation I had also made a point about parents needing to be parents first, not friends to their kids (she has 3 boys who she raised with an entitlement attitude). Her reply was something to the effect that she knows what she believes and I know what I believe and we are close and there is no point to further discuss it.

Of course she goes to her church maybe twice a month and a her kids don't at all (ages 21, 19 and 15). All 3 still live at home, with the oldest sleeping around, drinking/drunkenness, and so on. She also encourages some of the behavior herself as she drinks, goes to rock concerts, and so on. But, if you listen to her, they are all saved, they are just boys being boys. I just shake my head and continue to pray for all of them.

#12 JerryNumbers

JerryNumbers

    Life is about Jesus, not self

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26,276 posts
2,523
Excellent
  • LocationIn the south

Posted 13 October 2013 - 03:37 PM

A hot on fire Lutheran is generally lost, for the Lutheran Church does not teach the one & only way a person can be saved. Lost people reject Bible truths.



#13 John81

John81

    Running to Win

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 60,349 posts
5,274
Excellent

Posted 13 October 2013 - 04:24 PM

We have four former Lutherans in our church. They are all older folks so they all attended Lutheran churches as children prior to the 1960s. Each of them says they are thankful for the confirmation classes and such they went through because it put much Scripture into them and they learned a lot. At the same time they clearly see that biblical salvation was not something they were ever taught.

 

In the Lutheran church it was basically assumed that if one made it through the confirmation classes, were able to say the right things, then they were ready to be church members and therefore in good standing with God.

 

Our former Lutherans speak of having parents who were "good Lutherans", as well as once knowing many "good Lutherans" and the fact it was common for many "good Lutherans" to drink, smoke and do other things they have since learned are not something a sincere follower of Christ should be involved with.



#14 JerryNumbers

JerryNumbers

    Life is about Jesus, not self

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26,276 posts
2,523
Excellent
  • LocationIn the south

Posted 13 October 2013 - 06:11 PM

Most all churches teaches some truths, & that's what makes them so dangerous. the Lutheran Church, like the RCC, does not teach anyone how to be saved, do there is nothing good about their false teachings, believers are taught:

 

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2Co 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2Co 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2Co 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
2Co 6:18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
 
And by all means do not wish them God speed!
 
It was a good thing for Luther to come out, yet the problem is he failed to leave the RCC teachings behind, & brought MUCH of it with him, theirfore there's nothing good about the Lutheran Church.

Edited by JerryNumbers, 13 October 2013 - 06:13 PM.


#15 1John2:15-17

1John2:15-17

    It Is Well With My Soul

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,281 posts
231
Excellent
  • LocationNear Cleveland, Ohio

Posted 14 October 2013 - 12:30 PM

Most all churches teaches some truths, & that's what makes them so dangerous. the Lutheran Church, like the RCC, does not teach anyone how to be saved, do there is nothing good about their false teachings, believers are taught:
 
2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2Co 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2Co 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2Co 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
2Co 6:18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
 
And by all means do not wish them God speed!
 
It was a good thing for Luther to come out, yet the problem is he failed to leave the RCC teachings behind, & brought MUCH of it with him, theirfore there's nothing good about the Lutheran Church.


Agreed!!

#16 irishman

irishman

    Super Contributor

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,895 posts
703
Excellent

Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:12 PM

And yet there are Christian parents who don't do all of those things, who work to rear their children in the Lord, who pray and cry to the Lord for their children...and still lose them.  It isn't always about the parenting..

Right HC, many people, on the other hand, compliment a pastor (or anyone) when their children turn out all right.  They say the parents were good parents, and ignore the fact that it is a according to the grace of God. 



#17 JerryNumbers

JerryNumbers

    Life is about Jesus, not self

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26,276 posts
2,523
Excellent
  • LocationIn the south

Posted 14 October 2013 - 05:44 PM

We really do not know if the parents did a godly job or not, but fear not, God knows & that is what counts.

 

Marty mentioned that wonderful word right about this post, Grace, we sure need to be thankful for God's mercy & His grace.

 

A quote that speaks to everyone of us.

 

If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.



#18 irishman

irishman

    Super Contributor

  • *Independent Fundamental Baptist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,895 posts
703
Excellent

Posted 15 October 2013 - 05:05 AM

Consider this:

When we first moved to this neighborhood, I (of course) didn't know anyone around here, but God knew.  He knew the influence that my kids would receive from neighborhood kids; He knew those that I would forbid my kids to run with, and those that they were allowed to run with; He knew all about it, and it is possible (at least I believe) that we are where were supposed to be, for one reason or another.

 

I figure, if I follow the Bible and make it first in my life, He will work out that which I have little or no control over.  I still live by that today, and rely on the grace of God to do the rest.  I have made enough mistakes to ruin a dozen kids, but glory to God, He interceded, and my kids turned out well (so far!).  I say it to His glory, and none of mine.






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

The Fundamental Top 500IFB1000 The Fundamental Top 500