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Welcome To The South Facts


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#1 OLD fashioned preacher

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Posted 01 January 2014 - 02:28 AM

WELCOME TO THE SOUTH FACTS:

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6. "Jawl-P?" means, Did you all go to the bathroom?

7. People actually grow, eat and like okra and collards.

8. "Fixinto" is one word. It means "I'm going to do that".

9. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

10. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

11. "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.

12. The word "jeet" is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'  Yeah, "jew" is responding in the affirmative while asking "did you?"

13. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

14. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

15. "Ya'll" is mostly singular. "All ya'll" is always plural.

16. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

17. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

18. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, tabasco and ketchup.

19. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

20. Everyone you meet is a: Darlin', Honey, Sugar, Baby, or Miss (first name) or Mr. (first name).

21. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

22. You know what a hissy fit is..

23. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

24. We don't need no Driver's Ed. If our Mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

25. NEVER dispute or say anything bad about Mama!

 

(I LOVE BEING SOUTHERN! COULDN'T IMAGINE IT ANY OTHER WAY!)



#2 OLD fashioned preacher

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Posted 01 January 2014 - 02:29 AM

Kinda hated putting this as humor cause them's just the facts of life!!



#3 John81

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 09:45 PM

Sounds like home to me! :thumb:



#4 No Nicolaitans

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 09:50 PM

I live in Georgia, and I can attest to the truth of the OP!

 

One thing that I've noticed in my area...a lot of folks add an "s" on the end of the names of businesses that don't end with an "s".  Such as...

 

I bought this at Walmarts. 



#5 Standing Firm In Christ

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 09:51 PM

No Driver's Ed this Thursday... Mama needs to use the mule to plow the field.

#6 Arbo

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 09:54 PM

"Bless your heart" in truth, means "you're an idiot".



#7 Bro K

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 10:36 PM

Just over the hill. Which can be miles away.



#8 OLD fashioned preacher

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 10:44 PM

Just over the hill. Which can be miles away.

Go to where ole man Jones used ta live and then just a piece (not a fur piece ,mindya, just a piece) further (down yonder)



#9 Covenanter

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 07:03 AM

Where I worked , we had companies around the world, but used English for our conferences - English IS the "lingua franca."

 

With all the broken English spoken by our agents, they could all be understood - except the Americans - they needed to be translated into comprehensible English :saywhat:



#10 John81

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 08:09 AM

My Dad is real good at giving directions based upon where people used to live or where landmarks used to be. He'll tell me to go down by where old man Ray used to live and when I ask him about that he'll go into a long story of how he knew old man Ray and he lived there in the 50s but died in 61, and then after a few more stories I can remind Dad I wasn't even born yet!

 

However, I catch myself doing the same sort of thing. On one country crossroads there sat a big yellow barn for decades and that's how everyone gave directions. Well, they finally tore that barn down 15-20 years ago but most of us still give directions based upon that barn. Now we tell folks to go where the ole yeller barn was, then turn...



#11 2bLikeJesus

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 11:29 PM

You know you are from the Pacific Northwest if:

1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5 You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, its not 
a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and 
Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima 
and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while 
only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and 
"Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by
showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through 
the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can 
actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still 
wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones 
after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still 
Raining (Spring), Road
Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
30. You don't look out the window to see what the weather is today, you look at a calendar.



#12 John81

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Posted 25 January 2014 - 08:48 AM

Wow! Think I'll stick with Southern!



#13 swathdiver

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 08:51 AM

Don't forget, we use cane sugar in our tea!  You might even fine a piece of stalk of it in our pocket certain times of the year too!



#14 OLD fashioned preacher

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 08:54 AM

Don't forget, we use cane sugar in our tea!  You might even fine a piece of stalk of it in our pocket certain times of the year too!

and sorghum molasses on our biscuits.



#15 Genevanpreacher

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 09:03 AM

Many years ago, I got pulled over in Texas.  The officer came to the window and asked, "You got any I.D?"  So I said, " 'Bout what?"

 

:nuts:



#16 heartstrings

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 10:04 AM

We also speak scripturally........

 

Rom 8:18

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Gen 22:5

And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

:biggrin:



#17 Ukulelemike

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 04:48 PM

I live in an odd area. We are in California, though the most conservative part, in the NE. Our town was built around an Army depot in WW2, and a lot of people came from the south to work here, so it has a somewhat southern flavor to it. On one side of the valley we have Skedaddle Mnt, the other side, Saddleback, (no, not the Rick Warren one). One ares of our town is called Oakie Flats. We often give directions areoun that area using the "Big Ugly Rock" as a major landmark, (we're mostly sand, so a big rock is rare. Its actually an old coral formation from when this entire valley was the northern tip of Lake Lahontan, an ancient inland sea, probably a remnant of the eaters receeding from the flood). While there was, in the old days, a large black community, and the whites and blacks worked together, ate together, kids played together, and they all fellowshipped together as equals, even before the civil rights movement.

 

Sadly, we have gone from a town of 5,000 to maybe 800 today, with the military leaving. The depot is still open but all civilians, like me, working there. We are a shadow of what we once were.



#18 OLD fashioned preacher

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 05:24 PM

We've gone from 7000 in town (4 sq.mi. : 2 mi by 2 mi) to 4500 in the whole 925 sq.mi. (25 miles by 37 miles) county.



#19 Arbo

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 07:07 PM

I once had a waitress in Chattanooga, TN bless my heart when I asked what hominy grits were.  (Refer to post #6)



#20 MountainChristian

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Posted 12 May 2014 - 08:02 PM

When you're in the hospital "bless your heart" means something merciful.






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