~ How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
~ Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
~ A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
~ I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
~ Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
~ England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
~ I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
~ They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
~ I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
~ Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
~ I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
~ I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
~ This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
~ When chemists die, apparently they barium.
~ I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
~ I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
~ I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
~ Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
~ When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
~ Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
~ What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
~ I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.
~ I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
~ Velcro ... what a rip off!