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John81

Punniness

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~ How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

~ Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

~ A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

~ I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

~ Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

~ England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

~ I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

~ They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

~ I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

~ Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

~ I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

~ I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

~ This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

~ When chemists die, apparently they barium.

~ I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

~ I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

~ I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

~ Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

~ When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.

~ Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

~ What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

~ I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.

~ I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

~ Velcro ... what a rip off!

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