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The Perfect Pastor---Humor or Reality?

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THE PERFECT PASTOR

 

A recent survey compiled all the qualities that people expect from the perfect pastor:

 

~ Preaches exactly 12 minutes.

 

~ Frequently condemns sin but never upsets anyone.

 

~ Works from 8 a.m. until midnight and is also a janitor.

 

~ Makes $60 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives about $80 a week to the poor.

 

~ 28 years of age and has been preaching for 30 years.

 

~ Wonderfully gentle and good-looking.

 

~ A burning desire to work with teenagers, but is always with the senior citizens.

 

~ Makes 15 daily calls to church families, visits shut-ins and the hospitalized, evangelizes the unchurched, and is always in the office when needed.

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sadly I fear most do have similar unrealistic expectations.  hubby was watching a board for awhile where churches and pastors would post job ads.  churches were posting for youth pastors, wanting them to have a master's degree and 5-7 years experience but only offering about $30,000 a year.  everyone of them expected education and experience.  hubby asked, how does one get experience if no one will hire anyone without it?  we've also seen a trend -- a man graduates from Bible college and takes a position as youth pastor, is in the job 3-5 years and then takes a position as a pastor in the next town.  it's as if youth pastor is just a stepping stone toward senior pastor.  someone who is a good youth pastor rarely makes a good senior pastor.  I think our churches have priorities and expectations very wrong.

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You forgot about having a wife who is kind, patient, perfectly dressed and quoiffed(?) even at midnight, loves children and works with them, doen't work outside the home, and has an open door policy at their home, always ready to receive visitors in her perfectly cleaned and santized home. She is young and beautiful but is also older and mature, and has no opinion save her husband's.

Edited to add: She also bakes homemade cookies every Sunday morning!

Edited by Ukulelemike

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my husband was on a pulpit committee several years ago and they would meet to evaluate resumes.  Almost all the men would rate themselves "high" in all areas listed (it was a fill-in-the blanks denominational form)  Sorry, but you can be "high" in youthwork and "high" in relating to seniors.  No one saw a problem with it.  One person even commented, "You are supposed to build yourself up on a resume."  Ugh!  Worldly thought is so prevalent in our churches.  No one sees a problem with utilizing secular corporate practices and policies in a spiritual organism.

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my husband was on a pulpit committee several years ago and they would meet to evaluate resumes.  Almost all the men would rate themselves "high" in all areas listed (it was a fill-in-the blanks denominational form)  Sorry, but you can be "high" in youthwork and "high" in relating to seniors.  No one saw a problem with it.  One person even commented, "You are supposed to build yourself up on a resume."  Ugh!  Worldly thought is so prevalent in our churches.  No one sees a problem with utilizing secular corporate practices and policies in a spiritual organism.

I think even the idea of having to write a resume to be a pastor is worldly. I would think a letter of commendation from a church or other preachers who knows them would be better and more trustworthy.

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I think even the idea of having to write a resume to be a pastor is worldly. I would think a letter of commendation from a church or other preachers who knows them would be better and more trustworthy.

they ran into that problem too!  they called a young man to preach, he was currently a youth pastor and being mentored by the senior pastor.  the church liked him and wanted to move forward in calling him, so the pulpit committee called the senior pastor who had written him a glowing recommendation.  well, when they talked to the senior pastor he told them that he hadn't been entirely truthful on that reference and that he really couldn't recommend him, but he had wrote the letter because he'd been asked.  because of what the senior pastor said on the phone interview the committee dropped the guy.  hubby pointed out that this guy's opinion couldn't be trusted because he had lied, either when he wrote the letter or on the phone when they talked to him.  everyone seemed to believe that the letter was false because of course if someone asks you to write a reference you are only going to say good things in it.  hubby had talked to the young man and he had told hubby that the senior pastor didn't want him to leave, he wanted to keep him on.  evidently he was tasking the young man with a lot of his work.  hubby was thoroughly disgusted with the experience.

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I think a good idea might be to ask for a resume of sorts, or a list of what they have done in ministry, and their call, etc, then contact the pastor of their current and former churches, and ask for information cold-this way we don't deal with pastors wanting to write nice things to make the person happy, while not necessarily feeling that way. Then if someone doesn't have the backing they should, they can be let off with no real reason, just, Nope, sorry, you won't do.

When I became pastor where I am, I started out by coming up from another church, about an hour away, as a fill-in, one of many, for the pastor, who was older, well, almost 80, and couldn't do the job full-time. As I did this, slowly the other fill-in preachers stopped and began to ask me to fill in for them, until soon I was the only one doing it-everyone else had reasons they couldn't do it. So, after a bit, one of the deacons took me over to see the church parsonage, "just because" and began to show it off to me, and how a new pastor would really like it. hint hint.   So, I spoke to my pastor about it, told him I hadn't been formally asked, but told him about the visit to the parsonage, and he agreed it was probably their way to feel around how I would take it. So he spoke to their pastor, and they set me up for a day to vote on me. At this point, they had a few months of hearing me preach the morning services and some of the adult sunday school, so they knew who I was and what I believed, and there was no questioning, no resume, just a vote. That day I became the preacher of that church, and am still there today.

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Acts 20

16 For Paul had determined to sail by Ephesus, because he would not spend the time in Asia: for he hasted, if it were possible for him, to be at Jerusalem the day of Pentecost.

17 And from Miletus he sent to Ephesus, and called the elders of the church.

18 And when they were come to him, he said unto them, Ye know, from the first day that I came into Asia, after what manner I have been with you at all seasons,.........................

 

28 Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

29 For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock.

30 Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them.

31 Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears.

 I know many want to say that "elders" were "pastors". Maybe so, but there were several in this church and the word means "older". In Acts 20, Paul charged the  "elders" with "overseeing" and "watching", and it says that he "warned" them. So I wonder if these older men were the ones really responsible for screening out any "grievous wolves"? Instead of letting the outgoing pastor or "pulpit committee" do it?

Edited by heartstrings

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We needed a new youth pastor, and at the time had none of our own graduating from Bible college.  Our pastor would make it a point to invite the prospect to our Church on a Wednesday.  At our church, we go soul winning door to door every Wednesday for an hour before service, followed by a quick meal for the soul winners.  My pastor made sure a prospect knew this.  If the prospect did not show up to go soul winning but only for the free meal and service, his resume went immediately into the round file.  It took us months to find a youth pastor. 

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my husband was on a pulpit committee several years ago and they would meet to evaluate resumes.  Almost all the men would rate themselves "high" in all areas listed (it was a fill-in-the blanks denominational form)  Sorry, but you can be "high" in youthwork and "high" in relating to seniors.  No one saw a problem with it.  One person even commented, "You are supposed to build yourself up on a resume."  Ugh!  Worldly thought is so prevalent in our churches.  No one sees a problem with utilizing secular corporate practices and policies in a spiritual organism.

Our pastor was hired on the spot after answering only a couple of questions. The church had been without a pastor for nearly two years, had interviewed over 100 pastors and out of all those not a one gave the right (Bible based) answer regarding their own salvation and primary guide for doing their job.

The fact they offered the job to our pastor so quickly made him wonder if they were okay! He asked several questions himself, found out why they were so quick to want to hire him, and then offered to answer more questions anyway if they had any. (They did talk more, they still offered him the job, he took the job, and has been the pastor here for about 35 years now)

How sad, shameful and terrible that over 100 pastors who had applied for the position either couldn't give a clear testimony of biblical salvation and/or had no primary guide (I'm not sure how they actually worded it, but they were looking for a pastor who would tell them Scripture was the primary source) for how to pastor or live as a pastor.

A few years ago an area church contacted our pastor with a problem. Over the past several years they had hired and fired several pastors and they wanted to know if our pastor had any ideas on how they could get a good pastor to keep. Our pastors first response was simple and to the point; he told them they should start their search for a new pastor by making sure those they considered were actually born again in Christ. (Our pastor had met all of their previous pastors and believes not a one of them were saved)

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