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Steven Yeadon

The Impossible Love of The God of All Creation

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The Impossible Love of The God of All Creation

Now, while I was in college, I had two Christian friends, a couple, whose faith I became interested in. So, I decided to ask them how to understand Christianity. They told me to read the Bible starting with the Gospels and pray, and I would see that a Christian life would grow on me as it had for them. I also asked them for something philosophical to read that summed up Christianity and they gave me the book Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

Now, I did pray, but I found that in my heart I believed God existed to me, but in my mind He did not. This meant that my prayers felt both conflicted and pointless. I also tried reading the bible, but I started with Genesis. As a result, I found that my very scientific mind hated the first few chapters of Genesis as they seemed against science. Yet, even as an atheist, I found myself trying to prove the bible was right using science in order to regain trust in the bible as a holy book that contained the truth. This was because I had been raised to believe the bible was a holy book of the truth by my parents. Nonetheless, the result of reading the bible seriously was that I began to lose confidence in it.  

Here I must stop to say that I kid you not, this is a true story, as it will seem beyond belief. Now, I live in Orlando, FL and it was August 2004 with hurricane Charley barreling up the coast of Western Florida preparing to hit Tampa. On a whim, while watching TV, I decided to pray a prayer that tested God to see if He existed. Now, I wanted to be in a high category hurricane to live through the experience, so I prayed that instead of hitting Tampa, hurricane Charley would hit Orlando. Miraculously enough, the hurricane changed course and barreled towards Punta Gorda instead of Tampa. I was shocked at the time. Later, as I looked at hurricane Charley barreling away from Orlando, leaving my house behind, I knew that I had encountered God.

However, even after this miracle, I still did not have much faith in God. However, as only God could arrange, my two Christian friends knew a family whose house had been condemned, because hurricane Charley had put a tree through their roof. I decided to help them evacuate this house out of guilt for what I had prayed for.

The thing that struck me the most during this evacuation was that I saw the love Believers have for each other. This family’s church showed up in force to help her move her stuff out of her condemned home, and they even got a moving truck for her. This, despite everyone being busy with their own homes and clean up after the hurricane. I felt as if I had never seen such love before among the people who weren’t best friends or immediate family.

Yet, after a day of helping evacuate the family’s house, I still had so much unbelief concerning God. On the way home as I was driven by my friends, I mulled over what I had been through. I acknowledged at last that there was hope out there, real hope in the person of a God who loves us, hope for an afterlife, and hope for a just and righteous world in the end. However, even after this amazing miracle of the weather, I was still unsure if God existed in my mind. So, on the way home, in the darkest feeling I have ever had, I prayed for two more hurricanes to hit Orlando that year to prove that God existed.

Beyond all belief, two more hurricanes, Frances and Jeanne, did hit Orlando that year in answer to this prayer.

 

-EDIT-

oops, I forgot to mention that I quickly became a Moderate Charismatic Southern Baptist, and it would take twelve terrible years to get to a new heart, salvation, and a biblical faith.

Edited by Steven Yeadon

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On 10/6/2017 at 4:28 PM, Steven Yeadon said:

The Impossible Love of The God of All Creation

Now, while I was in college, I had two Christian friends, a couple, whose faith I became interested in. So, I decided to ask them how to understand Christianity. They told me to read the Bible starting with the Gospels and pray, and I would see that a Christian life would grow on me as it had for them. I also asked them for something philosophical to read that summed up Christianity and they gave me the book Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

Now, I did pray, but I found that in my heart I believed God existed to me, but in my mind He did not. This meant that my prayers felt both conflicted and pointless. I also tried reading the bible, but I started with Genesis. As a result, I found that my very scientific mind hated the first few chapters of Genesis as they seemed against science. Yet, even as an atheist, I found myself trying to prove the bible was right using science in order to regain trust in the bible as a holy book that contained the truth. This was because I had been raised to believe the bible was a holy book of the truth by my parents. Nonetheless, the result of reading the bible seriously was that I began to lose confidence in it.  

Here I must stop to say that I kid you not, this is a true story, as it will seem beyond belief. Now, I live in Orlando, FL and it was August 2004 with hurricane Charley barreling up the coast of Western Florida preparing to hit Tampa. On a whim, while watching TV, I decided to pray a prayer that tested God to see if He existed. Now, I wanted to be in a high category hurricane to live through the experience, so I prayed that instead of hitting Tampa, hurricane Charley would hit Orlando. Miraculously enough, the hurricane changed course and barreled towards Punta Gorda instead of Tampa. I was shocked at the time. Later, as I looked at hurricane Charley barreling away from Orlando, leaving my house behind, I knew that I had encountered God.

However, even after this miracle, I still did not have much faith in God. However, as only God could arrange, my two Christian friends knew a family whose house had been condemned, because hurricane Charley had put a tree through their roof. I decided to help them evacuate this house out of guilt for what I had prayed for.

The thing that struck me the most during this evacuation was that I saw the love Believers have for each other. This family’s church showed up in force to help her move her stuff out of her condemned home, and they even got a moving truck for her. This, despite everyone being busy with their own homes and clean up after the hurricane. I felt as if I had never seen such love before among the people who weren’t best friends or immediate family.

Yet, after a day of helping evacuate the family’s house, I still had so much unbelief concerning God. On the way home as I was driven by my friends, I mulled over what I had been through. I acknowledged at last that there was hope out there, real hope in the person of a God who loves us, hope for an afterlife, and hope for a just and righteous world in the end. However, even after this amazing miracle of the weather, I was still unsure if God existed in my mind. So, on the way home, in the darkest feeling I have ever had, I prayed for two more hurricanes to hit Orlando that year to prove that God existed.

Beyond all belief, two more hurricanes, Frances and Jeanne, did hit Orlando that year in answer to this prayer.

 

-EDIT-

oops, I forgot to mention that I quickly became a Moderate Charismatic Southern Baptist, and it would take twelve terrible years to get to a new heart, salvation, and a biblical faith.

Quit trying. quit analyzing.

Admit you're a helpless, hopeless, hell-deserving sinner and trust Jesus.

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 Mat 12:39 But he answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given to it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas:

The only "sign" needed has  already been given; that sign is Jesus Christ and him crucified for your sin. Praying for a sign has nothing to do with salvation and cannot save.

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17 hours ago, heartstrings said:

Quit trying. quit analyzing.

Admit you're a helpless, hopeless, hell-deserving sinner and trust Jesus.

Thank you for your wise words. I now know I was saved a few months ago when I finally accepted I was a wretched little sinner who needed Jesus to save me from hell. You are right, knowledge does not save. I just have to trust the Word.

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