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CauliflowerClown

Member Since 04 Oct 2003
Offline Last Active Dec 16 2014 01:05 AM
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: New Name for IFBs

16 December 2014 - 01:09 AM

Christian is also my problem. I don't want to be called a christian because I know many who call themselves christian and i would never listen to, watch, wear, or go whre they do and i do not want others to lump me with them. I am a Biblisist.

In Topic: I Want To Leave Home.

03 December 2014 - 06:53 PM

Oh and kita I prayed all summer to have $ to spend a week alone with God and I found these Cabins  in Ohio that had no cable or internet and that is fine with me. But i just did not have $ for it. I will be in debt for life from all this. I won't say why cause if i tell the true people get mad but i hate debt and I did not do it. I get to pay for someone elses sin.

In Topic: I Want To Leave Home.

03 December 2014 - 06:47 PM

I miss church often too cause I wake and daughter is gone and son is at work and I have to stay with him cause he don't want to be alone. I'm home tonight and soon my church starts but I have to be home. Pray WBLW has another good message just for me cause I love my church and miss being there. We have new Pastor and he is a good man of God. Our church is growing again too. We just had mission conference and over $50,000 was raised for missions in our very small church.

In Topic: I Want To Leave Home.

02 December 2014 - 07:47 PM

I am not rebeling against God if I am still living here and still breathing the smoke. I don't feel it is rebeling against God to desire to live in smoke free home or desire to not be in hospital or be on steroids. that is what is bothering me about John's posts. He is assumming I'm not saved and i do have a testamony here i think) and I am rebeling against God.

In Topic: I Want To Leave Home.

01 December 2014 - 10:48 PM

John put a clothes pin over your nose so you can not breathe though it. Now put a coffee stirrer straw in your mouth and get all your air through it. How active can you be? Is it fun? You get just enough air to remain alive but hardly enough to move from point A to point B. That is asthma. My asthama comes slowly and my bronicle tubes constrict. In times i have suffered for days on end I also pray and tell Jesus that he want our yea yea and our nay nay lukewarmness makes him sick and I'm to that point now give me enough air to breate and move or take it all away.  I was born with Hyline Membrane  Disease and my left lung was collasped. I was supposed to die but did not but have had asthma all my life. I had my last attack 6-7 years ago. I was told then that I also had COPD. I have to wear a scarf over my face if temps dip below 27 degrees. In summer when humidity level are high I am very short winded and can only move slow and I have to try to not over exert myself cause it mean trouble with my asthma a trip to hospital 10 day on steroids. Sometmes in summer if humidity is high I have to call into work cause I am not getting enough air to do my job. 

       

 Let me tell you something else do you know how many times I had to explaine why I did this or that was because bible says for wife to sumit and obey their husband and then I am told  God did not call you to be a door mat. 

 

 There was other time i put my foot down and said no way not going to do it.  ( not to him but in my mind and I prayed for God to do something  just like I am doing now) That was when he wanted me to get an abortion. I would have aborted our only son.  Now this is my fear of having to go to hospital and be on steroids again and more lung function tests and then the drugs.  Not to mention more doctor bills.

 

 This remind me when I was bus captain and on Sunday morning I went to go pick up a 5 year old, shy girl that came on Sundays. I visited kids every Saturday too to see who would be coming on Sunday. This apprtment was alway smoky and had strong smell of smoke but that Sunday when I went to get her they invited me in like always and 4-5 adults were all smoking at the table while the little girl I went to get sat on the floor giving herself a breathing treatment.  Needless to say she wasn't going that Sunday cause her asthma flared up. I got to tell her maybe she could come next week and told her we would pray she feels better.  When I left it sicken me that they had a small child that had asthma and didn't have the brains to step outside on their balcony to smoke. I feel like that little girl no one cares. 

 

 There is nothing anyone can do here but if God really wanted me to stay around and breathe all the carcinogens and sacrifrice my health for the sake of my husband then why can't he a least make it smell better. Is this a join them if you can't beat them type of thing? I don't think so but I have to admitt that if i was a smoker myself it would not smell so bad.  

 

 I tried to find out the affects of pot on asthma and i kept finding sites pro weed saying pot was good for asthma. Really how can something with more carcinogens be good for asthma when tobacco with less carcinogens are so bad for asthma? Don't sound right to me. Anyways I am living here I am breathing the second hand smoke and yes breathing difficulties are starting. I keep telling myself; so what, look how long it's been since your last one.  Even if I get hospitalized I'll be in a smokefree environment. So see I am also trying to encourage myself like David.   

 

     However I am also praying about selling some of my sick time at work.  This will be first time I ever did this. I am praying and asking before I fill out paper cause God knows whether I will need that time or not. God knows whether it would help or hender my taxes. Also I'm asking God if I can send it to IRS or one of the doctor bills, or can I go to Sam's Club and go hog wild in buying food.  Bible says not to be a surety for debt too.,  

 

 Elijah got depressed, Jeremiah was the crying Prophet I am not the only believer to feel so alone, and down. Oh a door mat is used to wipe dirt  off your shoes and they are dirty. I am breatheing second hand smoke and it is dirting my lungs so yes now I am a Door Mat.

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