I am surely glad we have the police state keeping me safe from unlicensed underwear. I have been so mistaken about what the threats to the nation are. I thought maybe things like getting my head chopped off by the Islamic State folks or maybe millions of illegal immigrants swarming across the border . . . . you know, really bad things might be what they would protect me from. I never considered I might possibly go to Walmart and purchase unlicensed underwear and put my wife in extreme danger. Thanks for keeping me safe Homeland Security. I really do feel safe and secure now.